I have demons in me.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
kristin has been a bad kristin
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
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