We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
It's blow job season.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
