sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
