I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she pinky promised me she was 18
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
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