I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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