You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
