I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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