addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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