So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
