She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
