I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
i think im in europe. pls send help
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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