ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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