Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
