Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
