I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize
