either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
