You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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