I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize