U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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