you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I still have a little drunk in my system
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Randomize
