all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Randomize
