His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
