It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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