C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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