the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
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She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
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I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
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