omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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