Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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