Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Randomize
