i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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