i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
