You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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