so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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