you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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