If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
