omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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