grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Randomize
