puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
