You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
