She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize