Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
