It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
It's shark week go big or go home
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
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