Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
15 Porn Memes You’re Only Allowed To Laugh At If You’re Over 18
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you