do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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