One girl and one boy is just not enough.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize
