"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
