Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
