You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
