My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
