i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
