Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
