Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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