thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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