Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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