Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
