well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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