Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
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