Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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