This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Your dad touched me again.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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