dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Randomize
