Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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