She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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