in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Randomize