nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south