how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.