I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
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