I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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