my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I love having hate sex.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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