Plan B is the new Plan A
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
