we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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