he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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