You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
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